Proving

Been thinking abit since I have so much time on my hands.

We live to prove our worth.

Students study to prove their worth. We strive in our workplaces to prove our worth. We dress up to prove our worth. We buy things to prove our worth. We talk to prove ourselves and of course our worth. We perform to show our worth. Hell, people even pay good money to put little white balls into holes in grass patches and run kilometres just to prove their worth.

But what worths all these? Is it all worth it? Recognition, confidence, desirability, affirmation, respect, awe, what? This is society's structure. Bloody hell I'm writing this piece to prove my worth too.

I'm guilty of all these actions and being acutely aware of it makes me feel uncomfortable. Is it all worth it? Do we lose sight of certain things because we are so caught up in proving our worth?

Was looking at old photographs. We only take pictures of happy events. Like humans only wanna remember those happy moments as though pleading that fleeting moment to stay. Cos' we need such aids to help us remember such happy times. Cos' it's all so fleeting, so short-lived but so acutely felt. Sandness, anger, bitterness and all the other negative feelings tend to stick around for a while and never really go away except when that brief moment of happiness creeps in. Photographs pleads for that fleeting moment to stay. Of course there are photographs that serve a greater purpose like social awareness and news. But I'm being personal here. Just rumbling about my thoughts.

Jst rumbling thoughts going awry. I cannot fathom the workings of this world. How complicated it is and how much more complicated Man made it to be. We seem to have more but we lose even more. Our inner core, things that make us human. Things that make us notice the beautiful world around us instead of planting buildings on it. But Man is contradictory especially for people like me. Human nature.

What makes us? What makes my life worth it. Perhaps we should stop finding the answer to this questions and mabbe perhaps we can live more fulfilling lives. I don't know. I don't think I would ever know.