Of food, babies, HDB and me

I went to visit my dear NIE friend's house in Jurong West. It was a reminscing trip back to Jurong Point. The mecca for NTU students and hordes of foreign workers. I wondered how much money I spent there hahahah :)

Anisia and her husband seem blissfully married. They are trying for a child now... ... and I know how loved that child will be. By his/her wonderfully practical but loving parents, doting grandparents and a whole army of aunts and uncles just bating their breath for some pitter pattering of small feet. Their house seemed straight out from the Ikea catalogue. Very nice and clean (clean cos of Daniel not Ani)... I wish nothing but happiness for them.

I was reading a book when I came across this cliched question that a daughter asked her father. "How did you and Mum stay together for so long without stop loving each other?" And I wondered to myself, how many marriages worked out fine. I can only come up with 3 examples, my 2 sets of grandparents and my grand god parents. Mabbe they were called 'grand'- somethings not for nothing. Back to answer that cliched question. The father said that you must not stop falling in love with each other. Love is but a fleeting moment so you have to keep falling in love with the person over and over again. Might sound stupid to some but I agree. Love stops too much too often.

I'm bringing my brother to the dentist later to fill up a decayed tooth. Simple it may sound to most of you but it is a ardous task for me and my mum. You see my brother is an autistic ADULT. Yes adult. How time flies and my brother is now 23 years old. No longer a child. No longer do we have the ability to control him. No longer do I have to tie his hand to mine when we go out because I was terrified of losing him. He follows me like a faithful dog now because he learnt to be fearful of being lost now. But somethings never change. Predictability is what my brother craves but it is not what the world is giving him. The world loves variety and changes. My brother cannot deal with it all and cannot communicate. I sometimes wonder if he loves us like the way we do. For my mum it's the unconditional love of a mother that keeps her going all these years. For me, I do not know what. I just know that I have to go on in this world with all the load on me. My autistic brother, my strong but sad mother and my alcoholic gambling smoking and immature father. I'm no saint. Just trying to keep my head above the water all the time.

I pray for strength and a piece of mind. I wish i may i wish i might i wish that all things will turn out ok tonight and if I can be greedy, FOREVER.