SAF visit

I entered Nee Soon camp as part of my National Education programme by MOE. Was feeling excited to see men in uniforms and machines all at the same time. Some of us gers were wondering if the army is that "stylo" as it is portrayed in the ads. hahah =)

We were ushered into the very chio auditorium and the emcee (most prob a 20 year old thing) said that the organisers put together a series of videos to keep us entertained while we wait for everyone to get ready. Thought that it would be yet another NE or total defence brain washing video. We were in for a surprise. They showed us a series of seriously silly videos taken from the Internet. The one that got the most howls was the one where Bush and Blair lip-synched to a love song. There was also one where a Grandma displayed her non-arthritic middle finger. I like the one with the kung-fu hamster the best. From that point onwards, I knew I was in for a great time.

Army men really talk differently. They are straight to the point and use words sparingly. The commander of the camp gave an opening address totalling 5 minutes. And most of the time it was spent telling us what were in our goodie bags.

Next the whole lot of us trooped (pun intended) down to the carnival they set up for us. Yes it was a carnival, completed with balloons, Power98 DJs and prizes to be won.

I went to the sniper booth and suspiciously eyed a lump of camo leaves sitting on the ground. Somehow my natural reaction was to kick that lump and horrors of horrors..... it moved. There was a living, breathing, suffering poor NS boy hidden under that lump. I asked his sup/in-charge/RO if he's going to be there the whole day..... The answer was a resounding yes as though it would be sacrilege for him to go anywhere else but be underneath that lump of fake leaves.

Up next were the tanks. Regret of me life to climb into it. SO DAMN DIRTY LOR! All the grime and oil and dirt. EKKS. I can never be in the army liao. The tank guy kept insisting on giving us caps. Very cool caps. I think the army engaged a decent image consultant liao, judging by the chio goodies they dished out to us.

Next up, special ops. They were bloody hell sponsored by Oakley lor. They really looked damn cool in their gear though. They didn't even laugh at this corny joke.....

Special ops guy: This is our primary weapon and this is our sec weapon.
Trainee teacher: So where's the tertiary one?

The above mentioned trainee teacher not me ah. Really!

Then my moment of fame arrived. I went over to the toxic dunnoe what booth where u have to try on the gas mask. After much difficulty, I finally managed to put the bloody mask on. Then stupidity strike. I morphed into Darth Vader. I made an authentic Vader heave and said, "Luke wa si lin lao pei." Stupidity was contagious as proven by the NS boy's reaction. He answered back.

Fun did not cease when stupidity strikes.

We chionged up a truck to go to the firing range. The soldiers panicked when my friend and I literally monkey-bar up the truck. Hahahah they tot siao liao got accident cos they too slow in carrying the ladder. Hahaha I heard one of them calling us Elasticger.

Arrived at the firing range and this Sergent divided us into details. Army men are so anal. He insisted on having 6 on a bench when more than 8 gers could fit nicely on one. Anyway we had the safety talk and procedures blah blah. Met the shortest NS men I have ever met. He looked quite cute in his helmet when he tried to jump beside me to display his lack of genes for growth. Anyway firing the SAR 21 rifle was oodles of fun. However the funniest part was when we had to take an oath declaring that we never illegally smuggle any bullets or pyrotechnics out of the camp in our pockets. We kept giggling and the female serge also laughed.

Went back to the auditorium where we were treated to army rations. One word.....


YUCKS.

To think poor Singaporean chaps have to survive on the rations during outfield. Wah piang eh...none of the gers finished their food lor even when we were so hungry. However the guys were happily gulping down mouthfuls of the stuff and reminiscing about their army days at the same time. Ekks.

All in all, I had a great time that day! Kudos to those poor army chaps who kenna arrowed to organise this carnival for us.

Will wear the stylo army cap for all to see if got chance. Just dun call me ah di.